Addiction
by chinochan-inulover
Summary: 'Absolution' Universe. A quick insight of Kagome's crumbling heart at Inuyasha's actions. Whether it is when he holds someone's hand or when he feels threatened by a bunch of truths out of someone else's mouth.  Two-shot, read A/N.
1. Chapter 1

_**AN: **__**JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'LL BE GOING ON HOLIDAYS, FROM TOMORROW MORNING TO SEPTEMBER FORTH. SEEING AS I HATE TO INTERRUP BY VACATIONS FOR ANYTHING, I AM LEAVING THE LAP TOP HERE AT HOME, AND I WILL ENJOY MY BEACH TIME.´**_

1-Because I didn't end the eleventh chapter of Absolution I decided to leave you a small gift. This fic belongs to the absolution universe and its set before the story.

2-I know I said I was going to make the priority epiphany a TWO-SHOT but I lost interest and nothing comes out when I think of a second part. Maybe beach will inspire me. If not when I come back I will be giving it as completed.

3-If you want Absolution continued, for God's sake, there are bold letters in the AN, please leave a review with an answer and help me out.

4-This story, will indeed be a two-shot (And I know the second part already) I just can't write the second part now, because I'm exhausted, and I have to wake up early in the morning tomorrow.

5-I hope you review a lot, and have fun for the rest of the summer! And don't forget if you are reading this you might like to read my other fanfiction too. **Especially READ ABSOLUTION AFTER THIS STORY( if you liked it, of course). Absolution is a long fic with this universe, though you don't need to read it before to understand.**

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_**Addiction **_

She watched him, just like she always did. Sango at her side was mentioning something about her and Miroku's date the other day. And still, her best friend's voice was tuned off by her jealous heart. He was crossing campus with his girlfriend; he didn't even spare them a glance. She felt it impossible not to heavily sigh, crossing her arms in the wooden table under her favorite willow and resting her aching head on them. Her eyes slid closed, slowly, as she pleaded the tears away.

They were always this damn happy. He always took her in his arm, an amazed smile stretching his lips as his golden eyes marveled in the amazing figure that Kikyou was. In all truth she was. She was beautiful with her long straight jet black hair, her kept locks barely moving out of place with the wind. Her skin was snow white and her face was chiseled in the purest marble- she also looked just as cold as marble. Her dark brown eyes gave her a mystery Kagome had never seen in any other woman, and even with how casual Kikyou dressed, she always looked beautiful and sensual. How could Kagome blame Inuyasha for loving her? He looked happy at her side, Kikyou didn't look a thing, but she rarely, if ever, did.

One thing though, Kagome was sure of. There was no way Kikyou loved Inuyasha the way he loved her. There was also no way Kikyou loved Inuyasha like she did. In the one year she'd met the young heir of the western lands, their relationship had built and crashed and built and crashed all over again- just like his and Kikyou. And this, because whenever he and Kikyou broke up (more like, whenever Kikyou decided to off their relationship for some days, or even merely dump him) Inuyasha would come to her. And as Inuyasha foolishly followed Kikyou, Kagome foolishly followed him.

So you see, their relationship was existent only when he found himself swamped and drowning on _her _rejection_, on her _coldness_, on her _indifference_._ She, Higurashi Kagome, was no more than the punching bag, she was his release. With Kikyou, she could see him always holding back, he didn't even cuss, and _that_ for Inuyasha was saying a lot- but truth was, with Kikyou he wasn't himself. And somehow that always made her feel better, because with her he_** Inuyasha**_ he was rude and impetuous and demanding and downright beastly sometimes, but it was with her that he let loose his darkest side, and she always, _always, embraced_ _it._

Most of the times she ignored what she felt when he held Kikyou's hand or kissed her sweetly or how he smiled at the dark haired beauty, one day after fucking her raw. He constantly cheated on Kikyou with her, and that should have make Kagome feel like a cheap whore, maybe she felt it, she didn't care. Maybe don't caring should make her feel empty inside, but when Inuyasha was there he filled her in more ways than one and she never felt empty. Truth was, she enjoyed healing him, fixing him. Because sometimes, when she thought about giving up and stay away, Inuyasha would show the rarest side of him, the boy inside whose infancy had been ruined by two parents killed, a bitter older brother and two raced against the mixed one. She enjoyed make him feel better because she loved him, and one glimpse at that little boy, that surfaced when he watched the sakura blossoms fall down and writhe in the wind, or when he watched a hanyou child playing safely with other youkai and human children, made it all worth it. Inuyasha was worth all her pain and suffering because she loved him so, so deeply.

She wondered if Kikyo loved him truly, if Kikyou knew that part of him. She wondered if Kikyou heart wrenched when she thought of his wretched childhood, and if she cried when she saw him haunted by old memories. Sometimes she wished Kikyou would die and let her fix Inuyasha completely, because her frequent rejections always messed the work Kagome had done on him. Most of the times, because Inuyasha loved the dark haired beauty, she wished Kikyou could love him as much as she did.

She was jealous, yes.

But it had been a year since she'd come to live in Tokyo. Eight months since they'd been… friends with benefits. And she'd learned that when Inuyasha called and subtly invited her over or asked her to meet him, or merely even pulled her by the elbow, slammed her to a wall and ravaged her, there was no way she could ever say no. Nor did she want to. She'd honestly learned with all her heart that he could never love her back, but by now she only wanted to make him happy. If for that she had to be his whore, then so be it. If for that she'd to leave…well, she couldn't make herself move just yet, but she was sure that if he asked her (or ordered her to) she'd do it in a heartbeat if he merely said that that was what it took to make him happy.

She loved him so much it ached inside her, every second of every minute, of every hour, of every fucking day, she ached for him_- wholly, completely_. He was the only one who had ever made her feel like this, and he'd made pretty darn clear that it would remain like this. She'd ventured in two or three dates before he made clear to her rebellious personality just how fucking serious he was about possession. She was _prohibited _to even touch another guy, other from Miroku who was his best friend and one of her dearest friend. She of course ignored this rule. Sometimes he got really angry, whether to her or the guy.

Kikyou seemed oblivious to this and Kagome wondered if it didn't bother that Inuyasha proclaimed to the whole campus that she was not _allowed_ to have anyone else.

And in a sick twisted kind of way, his jealousy and possessiveness embodied in a white hot rage always made her feel better. Even if she felt like a whore, and even if he announced to the whole campus that she was _his bitch _and no one else's.

She still loved him, and in those times she sometime felt like saying it to him, detail him in just how much she did. When she did he grew quiet and somber. He hated when she said it, except on the new moon, when he was less volatile and more vulnerable. He liked spending those nights with her, she knew he did. Though he had never said such a thing before.

Problem, at least to her, was: this would one day end. She was convinced that one day he and Kikyou would straighten their relationship up. But where did that left her? she couldn't pass long without him, and somehow he couldn't either, because he'd only spent three or four days away maximum from her in the whole time they'd been fooling around.

Sighing heavily again at her darkened thoughts when she should be concerned with tests and exams, she opened her glassy eyes to meet Sango's delicate light cinnamon eyes. Ever the beauty, Sango now frowned from before her. Kagome raised her head from her crossed arms and wiped the prelude of tears from her long full lashes and eyes. Taking a deep breath, she forced a smile as she pretended to look at Sango, while, really trying to pinpoint the couple she'd been watching before she'd entered in herself and explore the blackness of her.

"I'm sorry Sango. Did you say something?"

"Yes I did. Let's see, first I told you how Miroku's going to be the Spiritual Adviser of The House of The West. Then I told you how he was a sweetheart and took me to Miyarabi in Ikebukuro, Oh!, I remembered to ask you about your design class as well…huh…Then I was telling you how Daisuke, that stupid fuck, was bitching about me in the Taijyia HQ and… Oi! Kagome! Are you spacing out again?"

Her grey eyes didn't even darkened in awareness, as they glazed over again, her front teeth consistently gnawing at her bottom lip, as her teeth gritted her chin quaked and her nostrils flared. All the signs that showed, that Kagome was in clear distress. Sango turned around to see what she didn't even need to see. She knew it would be Inuyasha. It was always Inuyasha- though she never acted this anguished near him, with Sango she knew better, and with her was where she could take the scraps of darkness inside her and washed the ugly, sickly tar away. 

Indeed, Sango's eyes caught Inuyasha leading Kikyou to her car and hold her door, taking her delicate pale hand and sitting her perfectly inside the automobile, with every care in the world. His smile never faltered to her, and then he bent down and kissed her sweetly on the mouth. Then they shared a few words only for him to keep on smiling. It was a very pleasant smile. But Sango also knew better. He was like her brother; they'd known each other since they were but babies. That smile, wasn't happy Inuyasha. That was a repressed Inuyasha, begging for acceptance. When the car wheeled away, from campus, behind his eyes a flicker of mischief and somehow darkness lured behind his eyes and suddenly his face hardened and he punched both his fists into his pockets.

His eyes met Kagome and she choked. She knew that look, and when Sango saw it too, and recognized it for what it was, she helped him gather her things. Inuyasha's eyes were in all their golden splendor, a pit of darkness that drew her in. This was his cry for help. He was demanding her love yet again, and how could she ever deny it to him? If she couldn't say it, then she wanted to act upon it, she wanted to _show him. _Swallowing loudly and she stopped Sango's hand she sadly shook her head. Sango tried to plead.

"Kagome please, please don't go." Sango's hand turned around and bound hers. "You'll hurt yourself."

A meek shrug was her answer

"It'll make him feel better"

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She was already putting her last book inside her backpack when a hand stopped her. Her breath hitched suddenly, all strength flying from her body, under Sango's worried glaze. She stumbled and wavered lightly. Her hands immediately reached for the nearest support. And that was a manly hard body on her side. When she saw that neither the hand that had stopped her (that belonged to the body supporting her) neither the muscles were as corded or as hard as a youkai's (or her hanyou's) she stiffened further.

In fact, the person holding her to his chest was completely human. Bankotsu.

She had to admit, he was incredibly handsome, with his dark blue eyes and long onyx braid, a tattooed purple cross on his forehead. And he was intriguing and mysterious, also. But this would eventually turn out to be a problem. Seeing…

Inuyasha was approaching

Bankotsu was Kouga's friend

And… he'd never hid from anyone that even though he didn't care for her romantically, he thought Kagome was the hottest piece of ass in all the land.

It was merely a fetish, nothing more. And honestly, with how she felt sometimes, her self-esteem ripped from her so brutally once every other night, it really was flattering.

Problem was, Inuyasha knew it. And Bankotsu liked to push it.

Before she knew it, his hands had laced on her lower back and he pecked her cheek. Then offered her a smile. She gulped and tried to look over his tall, broad shoulder. Inuyasha had been far away, but Gods knew he was fast and since she'd almost fallen, and Bankotsu had caught her, she had not seen him. She needed to get out of his embrace, because this could prove to be trouble.

" Yo! Osu!"

His genuine smile made her flush and swallow again. Frantically, she looked for Sango and watched her observing and biting her lip.

"Huh…Hi there Bank. I was just going home…"

"Do you need help there?" he tried to take the strap of her backpack but she shook her hand nervously with a shaky laugh and tried to step away from his embrace. He conceded the shirking but then his arm fell on her shoulder and he turned them away, walking to the parking lot, on the other side. What was worse was that he'd opened his back to Inuyasha. "Well then, can you give me a ride?" her chest and her awareness tingled with a fantastic sixth sense and she turned panicked eyes on her best friend to her side, who was still facing the opposite direction of Kagome and Bankotsu's path.

Kagome knew it. When Sango flinched, that was when she felt Inuyasha right behind Bankotsu.

A hand shot to the back of her back shirt and he pulled her harshly to him, squeezing her form to his side. She tried to speak and he pricked her skin with dangerous claws by squeezing her again. She could practically see the heat waves of his rage. The hatred burned brightly in his golden, beautiful irises.

"We'll talk. Later." His growl made her shrink against his body, as his arm wrapped tightly, tighter then the comfortable around her form. Breathing heavily she saw him narrow his eyes into the human, who seemed a little disgusted by the inu-hanyou's actions.

"You don't touch her, ever. I thought that I straightened this up last time I _talked_ to you, Bankotsu." His words were calm and measured and Kagome took a deep breath before intervening. She looked aside but spoke up, loud and clear, before Bankotsu lashed out at the young prince that now held her uncomfortably harshly to his chest.

"It's fine Inuyasha. I was just almost falling and Bankotsu caught me."

"Well then." His rage intensified and his eyes darkened considerably, a rim of red making them look eerie. Kagome swallowed and chastised herself for not thinking it before saying it. Inuyasha hated that she had never accepted any gifts. She had declined credit cards to a new car and he hated it. Therefore he had stated that he'd offer her protection. At the time, she remembered, the idea had struck her as ironically weird, seeing as any of the harm that came to her, came from him. But she hadn't dared to say anything. He'd only told her, that he was also the only one allowed to protect her, aside from Miroku. "You should have fallen."

His whole sentence resumed their relationship. Taking the fall for him. Falling to her knees in the mud for him. Submit to him. Wait for him. Accept only him. The fan of possibilities in what a metaphorical meaning for that statement was concerned was immense, and almost hilarious. If the situation wasn't so grievous.

Bankotsu snort made her escape her trance and the youth before them both shook his head in disgust.

"You act so all and mighty. Prance around with Kikyou in the day, Fuck Kagome in the night… What? Do you think you can play people, because you are a lord? Honestly Taisho, I thought you had more brains than the ordinary human man."Inuyasha shook with rage and when Kagome tried to loosen his hold on her he forced her body on his with such strength all air escaped her lungs. "Gods know you don't deserve it Kagome. And I know that if you were able you would rather not have him. But he is making you look ridiculous when you deserve nothing more but to be treated by a queen. Anyone would make you happier than he does… "

She frowned immediately, hurt by his words, hurt by the truth in them, hurt by the quiet rage in Inuyasha's body. Hurt by Sango's shake of head and look of pity upon her. Then the older woman came to Bankotsu and raised a hand to his shoulder, as calmly as she could.

"Bankotsu, don't make a scene. C'mon, let's go away."

He looked at her, then at Inuyasha. Part of the hanyou's rage temporarily slipped out of Higurashi's hold when Bankotsu's eyes turn to hers, and they held pity, and adoration.

"I have no words to tell you how sorry I am, Kagome. The Gods were cruel to you. You know that to him you are only his whore…"

Kagome bit her lip and looked aside, meekly nodding, just to make him go away. Please, please go away. She spent her days trying to empty her mind of truths; she wanted to be empty, not to think in the disgusting, scary viscous truths that Bankotsu had spat in her face. Sango ushered him away after throwing her one last suffering, concerned gaze. Kagome tried to get out of his hold and found herself unable to. Just as she was unable to look at him in the eye. Or keep her tear away anymore. She straightened and wiped her tear away, gulping away old pain and lumps. As she looked up at him, seeing his ire enhanced eye color made her shake with fear and his body reacted to hers and pulled her further into him.

She could feel herself get carried away by his manipulative hands.

To her surprise she was quickly at the passenger door of his car. She could clearly see he was completely seething, that if she said anything, things wouldn't swing the right way, and she'd be in trouble. So she kept quiet and still. He was sill panting like and enraged bull. And worse was, even as he put his hands on the wheels of his sports car, his anger seemed only to thicken and engorge inside his chest. She was afraid in any road they crossed until shibuya came to visage. The colossal height of the sky scrapers that _Daikanyama Heights_ were, made her squirm. She had classes, why was she in Shibuya-ku? Why was she about to enter the fantastic apartment of her lover? Why was he so upset? It wasn't her fault to have fallen. His statement to that was just plainly stupid... She was with him, right? Why was he so angry at her? She wasn't guilty of Bankotsu's words either, though she recognized their truthfulness. And she swallowed the pain with her chest, accommodating her in her rotten heart- a muscle he'd destroyed.

As he made her enter the elevator roughly, with a push in her lower back, ignoring all other tenants, his hands were shaky. His forehead dripped with seat as his bangs, his eyes were still eerily rimmed and darker. She could see him trying to take deeper breaths, and softly, unawarely counting.

"Penthouse" was the ragged whisper she offered the concerned looking parrot youkai in charge of the taking tenants to what floor they wanted to go. He went to ask if something was wrong with the terrified little girl. But the dog next to her growled heartily and the servant gulped and jumped back, punching the button to the last floor.

"Penthouse!"

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**Some translations:**

Hi - _Yo~_

'Ssup! - _Osu!_

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Review a lot, I'll be working on Part 2

-Chino


	2. Chapter 2

**Addiction – Part II**

_Why would you wanna hurt me?  
So frightened of your pain...  
I'd rather be...  
I'd rather be with...  
I'd rather be with an animal  
I'd rather be...  
I'd rather be...  
I'd rather be with an animal_

_Animal- Pearl Jam_

_

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_

She closed her eyes harshly, her breath coming out in quick agonizing almost choking gasps, the friction of the sheet beneath her made her super aware. It was almost painful. Just like the way he brutally fucked her into the mattress, her face buried in her pillow, her darks locks in the brutal grasp of his punishing fist, the other hand's claws prickled her hip. The skin of his sweaty chest pressed against her slim sensual back and his hips did the real punishment breaking her further, shoveling her towards an abysm of pain and pleasure mingled together – He shattered and she did too.

Her climax however was not bright enough, not loud enough for her not to hear or see her own dark shattering of the heart. She suppressed the tears, as she did always. If she couldn't suppress what she felt- then this was what she was meant for – alleviate him from the weight of his fears, and his monsters.

And feed hers.

When he stopped moving his hips and when she felt him cease to fill her, his breath fell upon her nape, sweaty, provoking chills. She bit her bottom lips the hardest she could.

As soon as she had entered the apartment she was pressed to the wall. And she was already willing. She was always willing for him.

His hands had been all over her body, his lips as punishing as his just now. He bit her, he drew blood and licked it roughly from her skin, his hands always fisted in her hair, giving him the dominance the possession he aimed for, and he craved it. She knew he was erasing Bankotsu's smell from her, and he was trying to erase his words from his flesh.

He was hard person to understand, but she had done it. She did. She understood him. He wanted her to be okay with what they did. And she would have been – to certain level – if she didn't love him. And now instead of feeling sorry for his girlfriend like she would have if she didn't love him, she felt sorry for herself. Most of all, she always, always felt sorry for him. Because understanding all of him, she recognized, sometimes, when they just hung out (how long had it been since they had done it?) the good part of him, the part of him that didn't live haunted with the thought that he wasn't enough, that he was tainted and impure, born for condemnation, or with the constant need to be enough for Kikyo, or of making her love him, or even with the constant reminder that he had no father or mother, and that he missed them horribly, terrifyingly horribly, still like a child – like he was trapped. She knew he thought no one ever could understand what he felt. And for that she was here. Again.

Because she worshipped him. The sun rose in him, and the moon did too. He was perfect parallelism of everything she knew was good and bad. He had no boundaries he knew no self-restriction. He always got what he wanted. And she had let him come to this, because she loved him, more than anything, she loved him. More than momma, or father, or _jii_-_chan_, or _Souta_, or _Sango_ or Miroku, or herself- and it was sick and demented but she was willing to be by his side forever. No matter how.

She was relieved of his weight as he rolled over, she was snapped out of her thoughts abruptly by the void he left, by the pieces he left unpicked, hurting, prickling stabbing at her insides. Eating away at her dignity. She swallowed tickly and tried to stop the aftermath of her orgasm, the twitching muscles and the dizzy head, one of her elbows came up and pushed her up just the enough to support her weight with the other arm, under her breasts. The hand that she had used to raise her body came, fisted to her mouth, to wipe the drool that had left her open lips in ecstasy.

Her grey eyes closed again as she let a long and heavy sigh loose. Swallowing her depression down she tried to propel herself up, but a clawed hand caught the arm that supported her and made her fall to the bed again. Meeting him after the rough fuck he had just given her, embarrassed her more than usual. She tried to close her eyes when his opened. But he still had a clawed hold on her forearm, and he used it. When his claws really started to stab her eyes bolted open to meet his furious golden eyes. His glare was made of fire and lava, for a moment she found his eyes more engrossing than ever, than she felt a tug and her body being pulled to his, the warmth radiating from him penetrating her bubble. His breath still hadn't come back to normal, his skin was still sweaty. Just his eyes were completely devoid of sex, they were anger and ire – and they entered through her. Vaguely she tried to release her arm, tugging it back to safety but he didn't let go of it, and forcefully dragged her closer. And when she was close enough his eyes were so close that it was as if he was trying to choke the life out of her that smoldering golden-turned-dark yellow, sending her to panic, projecting her to those confronting impending moments before he took her.

_Flashback_

_Kagome gulped, trying to not avoid his red rimmed eyes, but her eyes kept trying to escape to the left or right, survival instinct searching for an exit. She could not find it and when Inuyasha realized what she was doing his hand cupped her jaw harshly, slamming their gazes together._

"_Why can't you understand?" why was his voice so husky and low? Why did it feel threatening? Why wasn't she running? Why didn't she ever? Swallowing again, the young woman tried to shake off his hold to no avail. His nose suddenly nuzzled her collar bone, a strange gesture for such an impressive show of rage, the grip of her wrists tightening drastically when she fought his hand again._

"_No one else can touch you!" now his voice corresponded to his demeanor. He'd yelled as loud as his lungs allowed it, his deep angry timbre mixing with a feral inhuman growl. She feared him, and that darkness, but before that she embraced it. Licking her lips she was ready to fix that damage. It was hard. She was an independent woman… she thought that couples should have equal rights and duties… _

_But her relationship with Inuyasha was different. She was his fixer. Like his dealer, selling drugs, she gave herself to him, to take his mind off of his problems and issues. Tonight it was insecurity, though she knew he'd never admit it. To him, it was a question of dominance. Sometimes she wondered if he was even attracted to her, or if he did it merely to prove his dominance and power over her. Then she always remembered the times when he caught her in campus, a sly smirk dancing on his lips. And in his car he showed her how much_ he couldn't resist her.

"_Inuyasha, there's nothing with Bankotsu."_

_When he heard that name his hackles rose dramatically, he gripped her tighter, her body was again slammed against the hard wall, when it had already gain some distance from it, his body slammed into hers again. Palming both her cheeks almost desperately with both his hands, effectively relinquishing his hold on her hands, he forcefully spat._

"_There will never be another for you Kagome. You are mine, and only mine."_

_She nodded. He pushed her further into his body, and into the wall, a snarl raised his upper lip, revealing gleaming pearly fangs. She gulped. Yes it was time to give Yash his dose. One of her hands met his silky platinum hair and he interrupted her by demanding._

"_Say it. Say I'm the only one for you."_

_In the back of her mind, she reminded herself, that remote part of her who thought her well being was above Inuyasha's and that was easily shut by her willing heart, that this was sadistic of him and masochistic of her. Hadn't she just seen him walk hand in hand with his girlfriend? This dilemma, however, had dimmed to a faint chastise, and she freely complied with his feverous demand._

"_You know there's only you." She whispered sweetly to him, her grey eyes boring into him transmitting him a sense of security he found only with Kagome. Breathing deeply again, his heart felt the fear lose its hold. Just the thought of someone else touching her always drove him mad, knotted his stomach and constricted his chest, paralyzing his lungs, whenever he saw it, he felt sick with ire._

_Still not enough, his cheek slid in hers and his mouth deposited a wet passionate kiss in the curve of her jaw._

"_Again" he demanded hotly. "Say you'll never leave." _

_At her silence, he grew distressed. His eyes seemed to lose sanity more and more as the rimmed got wider, the crimson blood in his eyes alerted her to, carefully, intervene. His claws almost piercing her scalp when she covered his hands with hers, not pulling him away. He seemed like he was going to start breaking everything._

"_I'll stay as long as you want me to."_

_End of flashback._

That promise hurt.

It was all she could remember from before, from the brutal punishment, from the anger he had deposited in her body. He always wanted her to be his alone, always. To her it was self-destruction, to him, it was keeping him out of guilt and having a safe reservoir to throw away his dark thoughts.

She tried to tug her arm again, finding in her the courage to let her tongue loose, and swallow the thick knot in her throat.

"I ought to get back to school" she sounded defeated, she was aware that she sounded half-dead. Her grey eyes closed not wanting to face his eyes or the proximity of his body to hers. Sometimes the power he held over her was terrifying… the word couldn't be more accurate. He could bend her at his will if so he wished, anytime. He always won.

Lethargically relishing his glare, Inuyasha closed his eyes but drew his upper lip and growled lowly baring his fangs at her menacingly.

"You ain't going anywhere." His hand was still firmly clasped over her forearm. Swallowing Kagome sat up and tugged again, her expression revealed anxiousness and edginess.

"Inuyasha let go. I have to get back to college." Molten lava revealed its depths as suddenly as she was again lying sprawled in mattress. His body was turned to her side, his eyes shooting her a ferocious glare.

"Didn't I just say you weren't going anywhere?"

His voice was hard, raspy- he still sounded angry.

She sighed heavily and relaxed in the bed.

"You have no reason to be angry at me."

He fumed and threw her a sideways glare. She felt it, didn't see it. Turning on his stomach he supported his weight on his elbows and pulled his sticky long hair in a knot over his shoulder. She recognized the movements from the corner of her eyes, but avoided his eyes for all she was worth. She had already secured him that there was no one else for her. She had told him – not for the first time in their strange relationship, by far – that she wouldn't leave, that she would stay by his side. What more did he want from her? Hadn't she given him enough? No… it was never enough.

"You let that fucker pus his paws all over you and I have no reason to get angry?"

"You are so unreasonable" she grumbled, her eyes fixed on the pure white ceiling. _How can you stay so pure when you watch this happen so many times, you hypocrite? _He was unreasonable, and yet, she was the one thinking to herself about the ceiling's purity. A snort almost made ways through her throat. His hand tightened in her shoulder, his claws prickled at her skin. She ignored the feeling. Her eyes made no move, still fixed on the ceiling. The sheets felt disgusting. They smelled of sex and sweat, and lust and despair, and misery.

"You belong to me."

She snorted and he growled low in his throat.

"Haven't we discussed that already?" she felt spent and weak and disgusting. "But that doesn't change the fact that I have friends, and Bankotsu is one of them."

The mention of the human that had rubbed his stench on his mistress made his entrails boil with jealousy and hate. Dammit, why did she have to be like this? Why couldn't she accept it? They were as they were. There was no need to change it.

"And why can't you have friends that don't want to fuck you?"

"It's really nothing of your business." She answered promptly, as soon as he finished his sentence. Well he had some nerve! He had a fucking _girlfriend!_ –A fucking girlfriend who he _fucked_ whenever she let him. He was as much as Kikyo's puppy as she was his.

He sat up abruptly and when she did nothing but flinch he hauled her up too with a hard punishing grip on her arm.

"Don't you dare say that to me." He spat in her face, his intensity glowing in his yellow depths, the rise of his chest became harsher. She tried to tug her arm free from his hold for what he seemed like the umpteenth time since she was here. When she failed, also for the umpteenth time, her body relaxed into rag doll mode. And that seemed to get him even angrier.

"How can you say that to me? Why do you always do this? Why don't you just accept it?"

Furious grey bordering on a storm meet his and with an absolute violent jerk she released her arm and fled from the large bed. At last rid of the disgusting sheets she tried to reach her clothes but they were too splattered around the floor, some of it wasn't even in the bedroom but in the living room where he had started ravishing her. How very demeaning of him, asking her –like it was her obligation- to forsake her dignity in his sake.

And then she was almost reaching her panties, almost…almos– a strong hard arm wound around her waist and it was like a lock. She couldn't get out of his hold now. But he hadn't intent do make it a hold, and he proved it when his hand reached for the nearer arm and twirled her to face him. Their nakedness was as natural as sun light to them; so much that it didn't affect them in the least.

"It's like you do it on purpose, whenever I look at you it's either Kouga or that fag Hobo all over you, even that stupid fucking mercenary!"

"Well, guess what I always see when I look at you?" his face contorted and she knew, she just knew what was to come out of his mouth would be even worse than all he had said until now, thus she added "You have to stop these jealousy attacks"

"I'm not jealous!" he yelled, shaking her, and pulling her closer. He was seething, glowing in anger

"Great!" she threw him a rabid comeback, her hand slapping his shoulder hard, her cheeks flushed from anger her eyes swirling with dangerous silver. "Because there's no bond between us!"

That seemed to shake him and he momentarily relinquished his strong forceful hold on her forearm. Pulling it from him, not getting away this time, she watched transfixed as the spot where his fingers had squeezed turned from white to bright red. He gulped and looked at her almost dazed and incarcerated in some overload that was slowing him.

"You believe in what Bankotsu said." His assumption was made in a low almost questioning voice. He seemed bewildered. Kagome couldn't understand what the reason for surprise was. He knew it as well as she, herself, did.

A bitter smile stretched her lips. She turned around to pick up her clothes, but after twirling in her feet, she didn't move.

"About me being your whore?" her voice although blunt and still acidic. He flinched but she didn't even saw it. "You are always saying that I should try to accept it. You're right, of course… But I think that's you who's trying to deny what this really is -"

"What? Why do you have to be sop infuriating?" his growl, as a show of his frustration caused cold shivers in her spine. Maybe it was the cold that his apartment always was; maybe it was the danger in the animalistic sound. "We both know that it's complicated, but."

"Stop trying to make excuses." She intervened, her voice, again, defeated and weak. "It is what it is. You're right –I'll just have to work harder on the accepting part."

"It's not…! I…! You can't believe what he says! You're not just some whore! Fucking hell! You don't even let me buy you a fucking bracelet! You rarely spend the night! You never come to me! "

"Material gifts don't matter to me. I don't want anything related to your money. And if you don't recall it, my time with you are sloppy seconds…What I want from you, you can't give me." Her eyes were on his again, she had turned to him, and her clothes already covering her body (the few she had managed to gather) as she held the bundle of them together against her slim, pale, and spent body. Her voice was strained and sad, more than bitter now. It ate away at his pride, made him feel guilty, and therefore angrier.

But he stood there, watching, as she walked away, naked, a bundle of clothes against her chest as she got away from him.

He knew what she meant. And she was right; he couldn't give it to her. It was too much to ask. Thing was she had never really asked for it, she always revealed her emotions and feeling for him, but she had never said she wanted him to feel the same. She never ceased to amaze him.

He was certain he loved Kikyo… but he could never let Kagome go. Still, he loved his girlfriend, and love Kagome he was sure, he wouldn't ever be able to.

A sigh tore him violently from his thoughts.

Kagome was at the door of the private bathroom inside the room, one of her hands shakily sought support in the threshold, he grimaced recognizing the tell tale signs of a blue bruise coming to life in her forearm.

"I can't have what I want. So…" his throat closed for a second, but when her voice swiveled through the cold air to his downy silver ears , a sigh of relief, a breath that he didn't knew was holding escaped him "I'll settle for less. I always will."

"Kagome." She turned her head, to face him over her elegant slim shoulder. Searching the guts in him that e knew would assure her for some more time he rasped out a truth that he rarely ever did admit. "I need you."

"I know."

In no more than two seconds he was behind her, his arms wounding around her waist and his lips drawing a path of lust on the skin of the side of her neck, and on the back of her neck, and on her shoulders… he dragged his skin and his lips and his hair trying to clung his scent to her wonderful uniquely Kagome scent.

"Stay."

"I told you before. For as long you want."

Acceptance of addiction, eventually would lead to absolution.

* * *

Well guys I don't even know what to say about this. It feels poor, but it was the only thing that came out and believe me that it had to come out- I couldn't live with its weight anymore. The eleventh chapter of **Absolution **is almost done... Addiction gave me little inspiration and the chapter had been tormenting me. It will however be out soon, maybe even before 2011.

Sorry for updating so late, but hey! At least I did it. Right?

Guys?

Uh... Well Merry Christmas.

~Chino


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